Ninjas, Portals, and Laughs, Oh Mai!
by Frankenstein's Mom
Summary: Only Mai's first trip to Konaha and back is in 1st pov. Here goes... Mai comes, Sasuke doesn't like her, later on: Sakura tries to play match maker, Naruto likes Hinata, and last but not least, Sasuke might like Mai! And she might like him too!DISCONINTED
1. Chapter 1

I was lying down on the couch with a table next to me. I had my mp3 on listening to anything you can do. The day before I came home after third period sick and stayed home from school today. I woke up this morning on the couch at 7:30 and my shoulder hurt like hell. It still hurts but my mom said it was just a pulled mussel. Now my welsh terrier is laying on my ankles and suddenly me feet went cold. Oh well. I keep glancing at my table and the plate of chocolate my brother had put on it to touchier me. I glanced up to see a commercial and to also see the mother and her daughters all wearing the same outfit. 'How stupid.' I thought. Oh if you're wondering my name its Marie. And I live in present day North Merick. For a year now I have been watching Naruto and I have become a huge fan. But currently I was watching Emerial Live on the Food Network. I sat up and leaned on my left shoulder. "Ow." I mutter under my breath. My shoulder still hurt since the morning. Then the phone rang. It was my friend Liz. Seems that she was out today and yesterday. "Marie, come to school tomorrow, even if you're sick."

"Why?"

"Because, I don't want to be the only sick girl in school."

Liz sounded so sure of herself. "Oh hold on Liz. Yup he's asleep."

"What?!"

"Jack he is asleep on my legs. And I mean asleep asleep. Like he didn't even wake up when my dad came down stairs."

"Oh… I just love Jack he is just so nice to me."

"Shut up."

"Talk to you in **SCHOOL** tomorrow."

"Bye."

It started to get late, so I tried to get to sleep. I gazed out the window and saw the light from the moon. I watched some TV and went to the bathroom, but when I came back, I couldn't see the moon anymore. I started to think it was just a streetlight. Well I got tired so I fell asleep.

In my dream, I was in my mom's room, walking towards her closet. I walked towards the back and got to a clear section, and there was some stain on the wall. I touched the stain, and then there was a big bright light. And then I woke up with a pounding headache. Once again I looked out the window and still, I couldn't see the moon.

By the time I fell asleep again it was about 12:30 am. I fell asleep to the sounds of Iron Chef America and woke up in the morning to a strange info metrical. I also heard my mom asking me if I wanted to go to school. I school my head no and tried to fall back asleep. When I couldn't I asked, "Hey mom, is Carol going to school?" Carol is my older sister that goes to high school, but yesterday she came home early, because, like me, she didn't feel well. "No it's just going to be the three of us and the dogs." I smiled remembering the last time it was mom, Carol, and I. So here I am now. Watching TV and writing. That dream though, it seemed so real. Ya know what, that's it; I'm going to check it out. "Hey mom! Can I go upstairs?" I called out to my mom who was downstairs in the basement. "Sure, just don't puke." She called back to me. Sometimes my mom's humor is so gross. Never mind, I ran upstairs and walked into my mom's closet. I heard little feet behind me. I turned around to see my lhasa apso. "No Aja (pronounced Asia) you can't come with me." I whispered. Truthfully, I didn't even think I was going anywhere. "Sit and stay." She sat down and didn't follow me anymore. I walked into the closet and walked towards the back. I saw the huge stain and I touched it, like in my dream. Then there was the blinding light. And when it disappeared I wasn't in my mom's closet anymore. I was in a space between two houses with a flag hanging in the front of the ally way. I got nervous, so I did what I always do, I played with my hair. But I expected long curly hair, but instead I got short straight hair. I pressed my top lip ageist my teeth. 'Teeth?!' I expected to feel my braces not my teeth. When I tried to put my tong through my gap, there was no gap! I started walking down the ally way. Then I bumped into someone, "hey watch where you're going." The person said coldly. The voice was deep so I knew it was a guy that I bumped into. When I bumped into him I fell and that was when I remembered about my pain filled shoulder. I went to grab my shoulder but there was no pain. I was able to hear another boy saying in disgust, " Sasuke you hurt her and you don't even bother to help her up. None the less you don't even apologize!"

"She hit me, she should apologize." I looked up and said politely, "I'm sorry for bumping into you."

'I hate being nice to the people who don't even know me and are mean to me.' I thought, and then I shook it off. I got up and moved my left shoulder a little to make sure that it just wasn't a fluke that it didn't hurt. "I'm sorry about that. It doesn't seem that either one of them thinks sometimes. Especially Naruto." I looked at who was talking, and it was a girl with pink hair. She had a nice smile with her eyes closed, but when her eyes opened, her smile disappeared. "You look like Naruto!" she said as if in horror. I looked at the two boys and looked back at the girl. "I look nothing like either of them." I said nicely. I didn't have a problem being nice to the girl. She was nice to me. As simple as that. Then it seemed like she was trying to forget that I looked like one of the boys. "My name is Sakura," she pointed to the boy that I hit, "This is Sasuke," then pointed to the blond, "and he is Naruto." I smiled nicely. "So what is your name?" Naruto asked.

"My name is Marie."

"Marie what?" the onyx haired boy asked with curiosity rising in his voice. "Marie Rose."

"That's a weird name."

"And Naruto isn't weird." For some reason, the name sounded familiar. Naruto looked like he got an idea. "Hey Sakura, Sasuke, would you mind if Marie came with us to meet Kakashi-sensei?"

"Well I think it's a good idea. What do you think Sasuke?"

"I guess if she wants." Naruto got all happy. I really scared me, and it still does. Naruto looked at me, I shrugged and said, "Okay, I'll meet this Kakashi person." Naruto gave out a cheer of joy and grabbed my arm to go with them. He started walking a head and dragged me behind him. I turned around to Sakura and Sasuke and moved my lips to say 'Help me!' Sakura just laughed and ran on behind me to catch up to us. Sasuke followed, but only he just walked. As I watched Sasuke and Sakura come over to us I thought, 'what is up with Sasuke? What, does he think he is all that? I wouldn't be surprised if he had a rival everywhere. Even if him and Naruto were rivals!' then I turned around to talk to Naruto. "Hey Naruto, I have legs and I can walk for my self. So what do you think about letting go of my arm?" then I murmured under my breath, "People are staring." He turned around and smiled at me, "Oh sure."

When Naruto stopped walking we were all on a bridge. And everyone that knew what was going on, which excludes me right off the bat, looked annoyed. Then Sasuke turned to me and said, "Your name is really uncommon. You need a more common name so you don't start suspicion."

"Uhh okay. What should my name be?" It looked like I stumped everyone with that question. "Well what is your personality like?"

"Well my mom says I have an attitude and I guess I kinda do but I'm also kinda nice. Just nothing that means flower or something mushy like that."

"Well what about beautiful?"

"Ick that's even worse."

"Do you like to dance?"

"I love dancing."

"Then I think I have a name for you." Sasuke said like I was going to like it or something. He turned to look at me (again). "Mai or Maiko? Which one do you like better?"

"Uhh, I like Mai. What does it mean?" Sasuke gave a little smile that just looked like the corner of his lips going up. "It means dance."

Then there was a puff of smoke and a voice, "What means dance?" A man's voice spoke out. "My friends name means dance Kakashi-sensei." Naruto said cheerfully. "Well then Naruto, can I meet this friend?"

"Yea she is right here." Naruto pointed to me. "Uhh. Hi I'm Mai." Then I mumbled under my breath, "Right?" Sasuke nodded. Then I looked up at the silver haired man and smiled. "Well I'm Kakashi." Then Kakashi turned to the others and said with a little laugh, "Sorry I'm late guys, I guess I slept a little late this morning"

"A little?!" Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke yelled all at once. "Well that's the past. Lets put the past behind us and go start training. Okay?" Then the others and I followed Kakashi to a clearing in the forest. I looked at Sasuke and he had his hands stuffed in his pockets. Then I taped Naruto on the shoulder and went to mock Sasuke. When I put my hands in my pocket, I realized that there was something in my pocket. It was my mp3. I put in the headphones and turned it on. When Kakashi got to a clearing in the forest, he stopped and turned to us. "Mai would you mind sitting over there while we train?" Kakashi pointed to an area by a tree. I shrugged and went over to where he told me to go. Then for some reason I stopped. I looked down and saw a rock, and I kicked it over to the spot. The rock got catapulted across the forest. I smirked and sat somewhere else. From what I could see, Kakashi looked pleased. Well I didn't pay attention to the next hour and a half. I was listening to my mp3, and by the time I looked up Naruto was standing over me panting. "Come on I want you to meet some people." He said in between huffs to catch his breath. We started to walk back to where I first met them. "Hey Sakura, where am I?"

"You're in Konaha, the village hidden in the leaves." Sakura simply replied. So then I guess we were heading back to Konaha. I had absolutely no idea of who Naruto wanted me to meet. All I knew was that not everyone I was going to meet here were going to be nice to me. And sure enough, that was proven when Sasuke said to me, "you know you probably are going to have enemies with the same people Naruto has enemies with. You know that right?"

"Uhh why?"

"Because you look like him." I looked at Naruto and thought 'He looks nothing like me.' Then I sighed. 'I am going to have enemies.' Then I looked up and smiled.


	2. A rough runin

Okay, time for chapter two!

Disclaimer: I don't sob own sob Naruto! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I'm done.

Oh and for Hyde-n-psyc everything will be explained.

About one minute after we entered Konoha I randomly stated, loudly might I add, "I'm bored... Really bored... Really really bored... Really really re..." A sharp hand covering my mouth interrupted me. "Sasuke take your hand off of my mouth." I said mumbled under Sasuke's hand. "You're annoying me." He said in his usual, well usual from what I have heard, tone of voice. "Ya know what. Now I'm mad at you." I said crossing my arms in front of my chest. "And I bet you don't know why." I waited about three seconds. "That's right. You don't know. Well I'm mad at you because you don't talk to anyone else like that. Now do you?" Sasuke opened his mouth to say something but Naruto took the words right out of his mouth. "He talks to me like that... Well only sometimes." He said lowering his voice as if not to agitate me further than I already have been. "Sometimes, ya. But he has been talking to me all the time like that." Then I turned to Sasuke and pushed him. As he stumbled backwards... _**CRASH!!!!!!!!!!!**_, he hit something. When that happened for some reason, which is still unknown to me, that reminded me of that cheese it commercial. Then I thought, 'Wham! Cheese it!' Then I started to giggle. Then that little giggle turned into a semi-loud laugh. Naruto soon joined me in my laughing because of Sasuke's peculiar position. Sasuke's right foot was in the air and his left leg was bent over a wooden crate, his head was completely invisible and his arms were over two wooden crates.

As I was laughing a strange thought hit me, 'Wait, how did I get here? Am I really even here? Did I just get a high fever and passed out in my mom's closet? That must be it. This must all be a dream.' As my smile faded and my laughing came to a slow stop. I looked up. 'This place seems so real though. It feels like I'm really here. But then again, I have had dreams when it felt like I was really there before. But they were just dreams and I was happy to figure that out. Will I be happy to figure out that this is just a dream? Or will I miss it when I wake up?'

My face became blank and Naruto and Sasuke saw. Their facial expression became confused and my eyes widened. 'Oh crap. What if this isn't a dream? What if this is reality and I'm stuck here? I don't even have my real identity here!' I guess I wasn't very good at hiding my feelings because Naruto asked if I was okay and Sasuke added that it looked like I was crying.

"Oh, no I... I... Ummm... Just have a little sensitivity to light problem. The sun is really getting to me."

'That's it! I never went into my mom's closet. I must've gotten heat stroke or something. I was lying right next to the window and the sun was really bright after I thought I went upstairs into my mom's room. So then that means that this is all a bad dream and if I get hit or pinched then I will wake up. I'll ask Naruto if he could...'

Then like as if on cue, something hit me hard in the head. I fell to the ground and expected to open my eyes to my mom sitting in the living room with me, my table with the plate of chocolate on it, and D.i.y on. But I didn't.

I opened my eyes to see a boy with red triangles under his eyes and a white dog in his jacket. When my eyes were fully opened the dog barked. I felt like I was going to cry.

The dog reminded me so much of Aja. That just made me homesick and wanted to wake up from this nightmare even more than before.

"Hey sorry I hit you," The boy said. "My name's Kiba and this is Akamaru," he pointed to the dog in his jacket.

I smiled sweetly; even though I just wanted to tuck my knees in, cover my face with my hands and cry.

Kiba helped me up then turned around. "This is my team, the shy blue hair girl is Hinata, and the dude with the Afro, sunglasses and his jacket collar pulled up too high, and an unhealthy bug obsession is Shino."

Once again, I smiled sweetly. But Naruto had to put his two cents into the mix by saying, "She may look nice now but if you treat her how Sasuke treated her, which is mean and always nasty to her, she will have like the biggest attitude towards you."  
"Thanks for your two cents Naruto." I said pushing him backwards towards Sakura and Sasuke. "My name is Mai. And yea I guess if you're like Sasuke and have no rearguard for other people's feelings, then I will have an attitude towards you. Just a little pre-warning." Shino just made a noise like he didn't care and Hinata said sweetly, "Nice to meet you Mai."

Then Naruto started talking to Kiba, Sakura started talking to Hinata, and Sasuke went somewhere to avoid some girls.

I looked around and thought 'If this is a dream it sure is a boring one. I think I'll go walk around.' As I started walking I had a strange feeling like someone was watching me. I ignored it because I thought that everyone was involved in his or her own little thing.

I must have not realized that Shino was staring at me as I was walking away.

I walked down the streets of Konaha looking around. What I didn't get was why people were staring at me.

Then someone walked up next to me and started talking like he knew me for a long time.

"Naruto why are you wearing... Girl's clothing?" The boy asked lazily.

I stopped walking, turned to him and said, "Okay, one I am a girl and two, I'm not Naruto." His eyes opened a bit. "You're not." He said.

"Who's not what Shikamaru?" A girl with blond hair said cheerfully walking up next to him.

"She's not Naruto." He said pointing a finger at me.

"It's impolite to point." I said angrily with my arms folded across my chest.

There it was again. The feeling that someone was watching me. I shook it off and listened to the blond that started to talk.

"Yeah Shikamaru." She turned to me, "I'm sorry. My name's Ino. And Mr. Lazy is Shikamaru."  
"Hi Ino. Hi Shikamaru." Then Ino noticed the clothing I was wearing.

"I'm sorry but are you serious about your clothing?"  
"Ino, let her dress the way she wants."  
"She's pretty, I'm not going to let her ruin her image by her clothing."  
"I said just leave the poor girl alone."  
"Shut up lazy. You're too lazy to care about how you look. We're girls. We care about how we look."  
"Hey my butt is... Ya know what, I'm not even going to finish that sentence."  
"See you are lazy now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go get... uhh." Ino turned to me. "What is your name?"  
"Mai."  
"I'm going to go with Mai to the clothing store and help her buy some really nice clothing."  
"Uh Ino, um I don't have any money. And from past experience, people have tried to put me in skirts and dresses. Yeah, I don't like skirts or dresses."

Ino frowned, "Oh, well okay. So maybe we could hang out and do something else some other time." I smiled and waved as I left.

Before I was too far away I heard Shikamaru say something to Ino, "By the way Ino, my but is a whirling dervish."  
"What?"  
"I don't know."

-------------------------------------------------

While I was walking away, 'Crap, okay someone _has_ to be following me.' I thought.

As I walked on, I felt a little tingle on my right shoulder.

I clasped my left hand over my shoulder and waited a few seconds. Then it felt like something was crawling on my hand. I cautiously took my hand off my shoulder and looked at it. In a completely disgusted and horrified voice I asked myself, "Since when are beetles that small?"  
I swallowed hard before shaking my hand screaming, "Ew ew ew ew ew!"

And when it finally came off my hand I gave out one last, "EWWW!"   
Then it accrued to me. "Now Mai… Wait why did I just call myself Mai…. My name is Marie. Just calm down Marie. Just think, whom have I met, that would use a bug to track someone? Kiba has Akamaru, and that was no flea, that was definitely some sort of beetle. Definitely not Hinata, Shikamaru struck me as too lazy to track someone, and Ino's too hyper about things... So who's left?" My eyes widened and I called out without turning around, "Shino, why are you following me and why was there a beetle on my shoulder?"  
No answer.  
"Shino?"  
Still, no answer.  
"Okay Shino, if you're trying to scare me, it worked!"  
Then something fell out of a tree and landed next to me. I jumped back and screamed, "Ahh... Wait aren't you Shino?" I asked with an accusing finger pointed at the black shadow. "A bug makes little noise, and is always aware. Much like you. What did you say your name was again?"

(N.S. if you have a suggestion on which Mai should be friends and enemies with, tell me and I'll listen. I may not like it but I will listen and take it into consideration.)


	3. How long was I gone?

I stared at Shino. "Uhh… Yeah… Did you just call me a bug?"

He stepped forward. "No I just said that you were just a quiet as a bug."

I was confused. "Yeah, I'm to weirded out to even question your logic." I stated in a concerned voice.

I found my way back to where Team 7 was, all by my self-might I add! By now Sasuke and Naruto had begun to fight like there was no tomorrow. Kiba was standing near Naruto edging him on; Hinata and Sakura were standing away from it all talking about girl stuff. I assumed going over to them was my safest bet.

"So was Konoha to your liking?" Sakura asked.

"Well, it's no Lake George Village, but it's ok." I answered

"I-is that w-where y-your from?" Hinata asked stuttering.

"No, but it is my favorite place I've ever been to." I answered smiling. I turned around and decided to watch Naruto and Sasuke fight. Granted that it was only a mere verbal fight now, but I assumed it would escalade soon enough.

"Proof is one of the weirdest words I have ever heard!" Naruto yelled trying to make a point.

"Proof is not weird, it symbolizes innocence and justice." Sasuke retorted. I for one immediately thought of death note. But that's just me.

"That has nothing to do with it!"

"That has everything to do with it dobe!"

"Don't call me dobe, teme!"

I got bored so I decided to stir the pot a little, "You know what else is a funny word?" I asked budding into their argument. "Cuticle. It is thought. I don't think even Sasuke could disagree with that fact." I said with a smile plastered on my face.

"It's not a fact. But what a fact is that you two seem to be two peas in a pod. Two dobes, and if you ask me that's two dobes too many." Sasuke said with a calm expression and an even calmer voice.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that last remark and say this, Sasuke spell awkward and Naruto try not to laugh while he's spelling it." I said just to see if Naruto had any bit of self-control.

Sasuke gave me a weird look before spelling the word. "A. W. K. W. A."

Naruto burst out laughing.

Everyone else just shook his or her head at his idiocy.

I smiled and said, "Hey I was right. No self-control what so ever!"

"Hey!" Naruto yelled.

'_Yes! I think he's mad at me. Now's my chance!'_ I thought. "Hey now that everyone's mad at me, who wants to help me get home?"

Everyone stared at me like I was an idiot. Hey I wasn't surprised, I am an idiot. They just didn't know it yet.

All of a sudden, Naruto grabbed my hand and started pulling me.

"I know just the person to help you get back home. Come on!" He yelled.

After a while of wandering around Konoha, we found this old man with white hair.

"Pervy Sage!" Naruto yelled. "We need to ask you a question!"

"I told you not to call me that!" the old man yelled back. "And who's 'we'?" he asked turning around.

Then his eyes landed on me. "Naruto," he started, "do you have a twin sister?"

"Huh? No this is Mai!" he yelled.

I bowed my head slightly. Hey I knew some customs.

"We need some help to get her back home. Well, do you think you could help? You're old so that means you're probably wise. Please Pervy Sage!" Naruto begged.

"What do you mean 'probably wise'? Of corse I'm wise!" the Pervy Sage boasted.

I leaned over and whispered in Naruto's ear, "yeah with great age comes great stupidity."

"I'm not that old!" He retorted.

"Okay what ever you say. Now just get me home," I whined putting my hands defensively in front of me.

"Okay but first, I don't want you going home saying that Pervy Sage helped you. My name is Jiraiya. Now, the way to go back is to go the way from whence you came," he said nodding to himself and his eyes closed.

Naruto was completely confused while I got it immediately.

I started to push Naruto back to where I remember being when Team 7 found me. Then I turned to Jiraiya and said, "Damn you're old."

Then we both ran like hell.

We made it back to Team 7 and Team 8 and I grabbed Sakura's wrist while Naruto grabbed Sasuke's collar. (Hehe. Sasuke's a dog!)

"Stop pulling me dobe!" Sasuke yelled removing Naruto's hand from his collar and following the rest of us.

"Mai, where are we going?" Sakura asked confused.

"I'm going home. Also, I need more than just Naruto watching me because if I ever decide to come back and forget how to go back chances are Naruto's not going to remember either," I called behind me so even Sasuke could hear me. They must of thought I was some sort of retard or something. HA! They don't even know the half of it!

We finally got back to the ally that I first met Team 7 at. That is, after two failed attempts and Sasuke yelling at me that we passed it five minuets ago. But hey, who's counting?

I walked to the back of the ally, like I did with my mom's closet. I placed my hand on the wall where the color was a bit off. Suddenly, this bright light blinded the four of us and the next thing I knew, I was back in my mom's closet.

I ran out of the closet to find Aja sitting by the door waiting for me to come out. I bent down and said running my hand over her head, "Now why did you sit here for three hours? You didn't have to."

I went over to my mom's bed. In my head it was about eleven o'clock. I remembered looking at my mom's digital clock before going into her closet. It read: 7:57 am.

Very much to my surprise, the clock read 8:00… am! I was only gone for three minutes!

'What?! I know it was so much more than three minutes! I mean Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were training for almost two hours!' I thought furiously.

I sat down on the bed to regain my thoughts. Then it occurred to me that the clock might be off or that I fell asleep and the power went out. Then I remembered that the clock on the computer is always right, so I check the computer on my dad's desk. 8:01.

My eyes widened in horror and surprise. "I was only gone for three minutes," I mumbled to myself.

I sat down on the bed again and said, "Now, calm down Marie. You just… Passed out. Yeah. You just passed out in the closet."

Then reality came through. "Who am I kidding? You don't pass out standing up. Well you could but you don't wake up standing up! There is a portal in your mother's closet and you just have to get over it! But what if someone goes in there and touches the stain? Pfft! Fat chance! No one has been _that_ far into _that_ closet since Mickey and I were little kids. Everything will be okay… I hope."

I know what you're thinking. I'm crazy for the little conversation I just had with myself, but as Carol had said, 'Arguing with yourself is okay. It's when you lose to yourself, then something is wrong.'


End file.
